I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
