A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Randomize
