The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize