Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
