I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
