Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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