i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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