I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Of course I have a pirate flag
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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