I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize