Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
