Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
