The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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