so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Randomize
