Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
