I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
