my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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