OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Randomize
