There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
