Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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