OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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