I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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