I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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