problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
i think i just lost a toe
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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