Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
