I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
