I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
