he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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