I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
