If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
