is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
