My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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