I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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