why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
