My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
