I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
