I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
