He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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