youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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