dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
