I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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