grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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