My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
can u get pink eye on your cock?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
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