Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
we should paint friendship bongs
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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