he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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