Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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