i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
