She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
