yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
