I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I need a beard to bite.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
