Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize