you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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