I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
