I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
