she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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