Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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