Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
