Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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