Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
