Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize