DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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