Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
don't judge my taste in strippers
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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