Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
