People with herpes should wear stickers.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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